The flight

I finally managed to find a socket in Vienna airport. I finished the battery on my laptop in Copenhagen airport and I couldn't find a socket there to plug it and charge it. So, because I had nothing to do till 5 am when my check in started I tried to sleep. I returned to the scene of the crime (the exact same place where I slept with the girls in October)…but this time it was different. I couldn't sleep as good as back then…actually I managed to sleep two hours all night…the lack of a sleeping bag…the fact that I had to sleep with my head on my bag and the girls not being there, made things more difficult. Also, this time the airport was very noisy…I can’t recall if there were a lot of people in October, but now it was kinnda full…I guess the holiday thing kicks in everywhere.

Leaving Copenhagen

After check in I headed for the gate…I was happy cause I found out that my bag is going straight to Bucharest and I don’t have to pick it up when I get to Vienna. It was dark outside and I could barely see the planes through the window while waiting for boarding. I also realized it was raining kinnda hard and I got a bit scared. It’s the first timing I am flying in winter and I am a bit afraid…the feelings you always get when you do something new. I didn't realize until we got on the plane how big it was. The darkness hid more than half of its size. It was an Austian Airline’s plane (Austrian Arrows)…mostly with Romanians and Indians on board. I realized I was surrounded by Romanians in the boarding room. At the begging I thought it’s just my imagination…but I looked at their passports…their Romanian appearance was officially id-ed by their passport. I kept wondering if they think the same…if I look Romanian myself just like them…they were looking at me…but I don’t know if it was my staring that bothering them or the curiosity they had to find if they guessed my nationality. When I entered the flight…classical music filled my ears…I guess the captain wanted to keep it traditional Mozart. They were really nice…I would like to fly with them again…they also gave us a tasty breakfast…warm croissant and tea…I sat next to a Danish woman and I could understand most of what she was saying but wasn’t able to answer…I have to work on that too in my poor Danish....it must be pretty important to answer in a conversation in order to make it a conversation.

Now the best part…the actual flight. As I was saying I never flew in winter before…or whatever this weather can be called. It was raining and I was a bit scared as we took off. I thought that’s how it’s going to be all the way…dark and wet. So, I thought I would close my eyes and sleep…but at some point I opened them…and saw the most beautiful thing ever. Nothing can beat this…I am sure. Under the plane there was an ocean of clouds. Land was absolutely nowhere in sight…just clouds…dark clouds…and ahead…at the same line with my sight...the most beautiful sun rise I have ever seen. There cannot be anything more beautiful…above us was all clear and the sunlight of the sun rise was marking a red-yellow-orange line between the ocean of clouds and the light blue nothingness from above. Incredibly beautiful…again I was thinking “why don’t I have a f*****g camera?!” After a while the sun rise ended and there was light everywhere…but a different type of light…it was icy…and just then I realized that the raindrops on the window turned in ice flowers. At some point I fell asleep and woke up hearing the captain’s voice telling us to prepare for landing. The wind was strong and they made some maneuvers with the wings so equilibrate the plane.

Half way home - Vienna airport

I’m actually staying in the boarding area…after security check…so I can’t really see what the airport looks like…but it seams big. My job now, because I’m too tired to read or do something that uses my brain too much, is staring at people. I never actually did that…I think this is the best place if you want to build a cosmopolite image. Some are bothered by my staring and look back…other just pass without turning their head :). I still have about 3 hours of doing nothing. Oh, I forgot! Austria is very green from above…I wonder if Romania is going to be the same. Still, the leafless trees looked so muddy. At the begging I thought there was a flood or something and they were covered in mud…just after my tired brain realized that well…they don’t have leafs in this season…so I just imagined they were chocolate trees, to make it feel nicer.

Vienna – Bucharest

The flight was so full that they were giving away special offers to stay one more night in Vienna with everything paid plus extra money for Christmas gifts…of course nobody was going for that…they were all waiting to go home as soon as possible. Again a huge plane, classical music and very good food…this airline has the best plane food ever…Outside the window the view was different because this time the sun was already up. The glamour now was the rainbow reflected on the clouds. I took a peep on the other side, were the sun was shining directly as saw that everything was golden there. Again the ocean of clouds underneath us seemed to facing a storm as the clouds locked like waves, aggressively knocking in each other. I couldn't sleep, though I could feel that I was extremely exhausted, my heart was beating ten times faster when we went out of the clouds and I could see the land of Romania. Again, because I don’t want to think of it that way I am not going to write about what I saw and what for a fraction of second was in my mind…I only want to remember the pleasant feeling of being home.

Too my surprise, they did not lose my luggage in Vienna.

Leaving Aarhus

Well....my bag is packed...waiting for me at the door. I managed again to get it so full that I could barely close it and had to take out a few stuff. I guess I will never learn how much is too much for a travel bag. I have another bag with this semester's books and compendiums...They are heavier than the clothes bag but I have to take home...otherwise I would throw them away...and as much as I would like to do that and get rid of the bad memories they bring, I admit it would be a waste. I cleaned the apartment...I just have to take out the garbage when I leave...oh and Marketa's bike to the basement. By the looks of it, I only have to get dressed and leave. But I guess the excitement of leaving made move to fast and now I have to wait for at least another six hours till I can leave.

Aarhus is unbelievably sunny today. It hasn't been like this in a few weeks...since my relaxation walk with Mara about a month ago. I guess my excitement and happiness is so strong that it influenced the weather. :)...I'll miss these kind of days here...if Marketa was home we would go jogging for sure.

Bus 16 will be here, aka Emmasvej, at 18:09. I'm not going to go straight to the train station, as I have to hand in my key to the International Secretariat. Thanks to their rules I will have to drag all my luggage to school...put the envelope with the key, the washing card and the new contract in their post box and only than head for the train station. The last train to Copenhagen Airport leaves at 22:40, but I think I'm going to take one that's around 21...it's better to wait in the airport...its safer...and I kinnda know it from my adventure in October. I will also have time to weight my luggage and remake it or throw away stuff if it's too heavy...though I wouldn't like to think to that as a possibility. My flight leaves Copenhagen Airport on Saturday at 07...something in the morning...the bad part is that it's not going straight to Otopeni…but to Vienna. So I will spend some quality hours in Vienna’s airport too. If there’s anything I'm becoming an expert in...it's airports :)...My odyssey will finish Saturday at 16:30...when hopefully without any incidents and with my luggage not lost :D...I will be in Bucharest...

I guess it pays to get home these days...but the effort is worth it...I will be complete again :)

Twilight

When Ana first told me about the movie, I laughed and thought it's a "Buffy - the vampire slayer" type of movie...this is also what everybody around me thinks when I tell them about it :)

Ana sent me the 4 books from the collection before I got to see the movie and I didn't get her excitement...but...I am completely mesmerized now. Not only did I see the movie but I also read the first book...which is breath taking. I hope I'll get to read the second one on my way home...I will have a lot of time on train and in airports I guess...and I am really curios how the story will go on, especially since there's no movie on the other three books.

I don't know if the movie is a must see, but the book(s)is a must read.

I feel good about finding an Aarhus hobby in reading, since I didn't feel like really doing that at home. My next movie after book reading is going to be "The Cider house rules". Yesterday I saw the movie again with the girls and it's so full of emotion and compassion and lust for life...

It's always good-bye to somebody

Good-byes started as the holidays are getting closer. It's weird being an "international student"...Before coming here I was thinking about how my room mates would be, how my class mates would be...how all my new friends will be. I was sure there has to be someone I would not get along with or whose habits would piss me off...but here I am crying my eyes out for people I only know for a few months but feel so related to. The experience is just like the feelings that cannot be explained. Most of the people will be here next semester too, but others will not.

Tonight Mara left. Her imperfect way of being makes me already miss her. I stayed with her in her room as she was packing...concerning about the weight of the bag. I barely kept the tears when she hugged me and said good-bye. She said I should take it as "see ya'"...but I know chances are it's not going to be like that. I will miss everything about her...the talking, the funny walks we had, our stupid jokes...her camera :)...The photo she left for us on the fridge will make me feel like she's still here every morning.

I guess it's not just Mara...its realizing that at some point we will all have to say good-bye and the more time passes the harder it gets. This is different from saying it to people at home because I am more than sure I will see them again.

Long forgotten idols of a wierdo

While talking about piercing and tattoos, that I would like to get at some point in my life, I remembered about my long forgotten idols - the SG (http://suicidegirls.com/). I remember finding them when I was in Kiev, bored and searching the internet for interesting stuff. Back then, I liked them because my teenage self searching mind found them as a nice identity. The idea of Goth Pin-up Girls went pretty well with the music and the feelings I had. The site is a passage to another way of life. The girls are characterized by piercing, tattoos, weird hair cuts and vintage clothes...but also very innocent (Lolita like) glances and poses. It's like an intriguing girlish portal...and I still love the photos – back then you could access most of them because the website was new (now you have to pay).

Some weird things I like (weird because other people make funny faces when I do them or say them):

- eating with the knife, anything and everything (except liquid stuff) - this is something I get from my father and my grandfather :)

- rats - maybe because they are small and able to get into places, and harm unwillingly...just because they are rats + they are so smart (I don't know why people don't like them, I love them...I even had one...I hate it when I have to be there when people talk about killing them)

- polenta with french fries (aka mamaliga cu cartofi prajiti) - eaten together of course

- pills (they are small, round and colorful...how can you not like that?!) - I don't like them when I have to take them, because this means I am sick in some way...I like taking them randomly, whatever I want - whenever I want, they attracted me since I could barely walk :D

- going to the dentist (most people don't) - teeth are important, they define the smile...what would we be if we would be ashamed of showing our teeth

- playing with fire...and candle wax...I like reshaping it while it's hot and I love sticking my fingers deep in it...also in this category I love the smell of burning matches - the pyromaniac inside me spoke

- Ok...I guess the cleaning could go in here too...I love to organize things

My ride

Because I am so good at procrastinating, instead of starting to do the accounting things I MUST LEARN FOR MY EXAM ON MONDAY, I will just write something here. Usually when I try to stall time and not do what I have to do, I do my nails, take a shower, vacuum or randomly clean my room (and if my room is clean I will just clean other rooms - like the kitchen, the kitchen is always dirty), go shopping for something/anything...brush my teeth a hundred times a day if this helps me not do what I am suppose to do...and other similar things. This procrastination thing became so popular...I didn't actually know they had another word in English, a more sophisticated one, that describes being lazy. I have no idea how to translate this word in Romanian.

Anyway...I decided to write something about my ride - my bike. I was thinking that going home will also mean not having to ride it for one month. As much as I am excited about going by bus and other transportation methods that rely on motors, it is going to be weird. I developed a special relation with my bike. I named it and I take care of it. And I even helped it make some friends. Last night, when we left Lina's house, my poor bike was frozen, but it never looked so beautiful. The frozen black paint shined so nice...I felt like in a fairytale while riding it. Also my bike never let me down. It never broke...it has some problems with the hand brakes, but that's because I have to change them (probably in spring). I can always rely on it...I don't have to think about when the last bus is coming, because I can just take my bike at anytime and ride home. It's a lot like a car...but better...you breath some fresh air, you exercise, you can interact with the environment around you and you have a lot of time on your own to think about anything, you also park it and put it in the garage (aka the basement) when it's cold and raining, because you don't want it to rust. I did have two accidents with it but nothing serious. I also like how I can add all sort of accessories to it - seat cover, basket, helmet  lights (white light for the front, red light for the back) and I've seen a lot of people putting artificial flowers around the basket so that it looks nicer. In spring I am going to make a photo album of Aarhus bikes.

I wonder if Bucharest is ever going to have bicycles.

Still I hope I'll get my driver's licence this summer...this is definetly on my resolution's list.

My additions

Today, I, Marketa and Alice pierced our ears. We decided to pierce the upper side of our ear when we went in our October Scandinavian trip, but never thought we would actually do it. Because there are just a few days left till we are all going home for holidays we decided to do it. This is a nice memory from Aarhus...a memory I will always have with me. It was a bit strange because I never had a piecing done with the thing which just puts the earring in the ear...I was a bit scared and excited before the small trigger was pushed.

A review of all my additions:

- 1 pierce in the left side of the lower lip

- 1 pierce in my left ear

- 6 pierces in my right ear

- 2 tattoos

There is place for more and I know I will not hold my self from doing something next year too, especially if I will be leaving somewhere else.

My stupid phobias

While trying to solve some intellectual property cases last night, my brain decided to take a brake and think about non relevant life things. Ana's post about phobias made me think about my own...but not in such a deep way.

Definition

A phobia is an intense, unrealistic fear, which can interfere with the ability to socialize, work, or go about everyday life, which is brought on by an object, event or situation.

This isn't being "crazy" — people know fully well their fears are unreasonable — but they can not control the fear. These people have phobias.

Phobias belong to a large group of mental problems known as "anxiety disorders" that include obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), panic disorder, and posttraumatic stress disorder. Phobias themselves can be divided into three specific types:

- specific phobias (formerly called "simple phobias")

- social phobia

- agoraphobia

I was thinking about stupid phobias I have and I came up with three of them (in order of stupidity – if taken the other way around it’s the order in which they influence my social life):

Phobia no. 1

This is a really stupid phobia. I have the phobia of having an accident or even dieing and not being shaved or waxed or whatever. This is the most ridiculous thing that could preoccupy me...but it does. In cases like these you might end up in the hospital or at the morgue...either way you would at some point be naked, taken pictures of or other similar stuff. What if I have hair all over my body? I know...nobody would care, but I would...even if I would be dead. I mean I wouldn't mind being a nice corps. This kind of proves how selfish and self centered I am...but seriously it is a phobia.

Phobia no. 2

I am afraid of the shower curtain. This is also one of the reasons I hate the shower...I can't really get fully relaxed in it. I don't know when this phobia started, but I sure have it for a few years now. It is a nightmare for me to pull the shower curtain while I am taking a shower. And if I have to wash may hair and keep my eyes closed, my adrenalin goes higher than ever. You cannot imagine for how many times I got shampoo in my eyes because I had to open them. The idea is that I have the feeling that somebody is watching me. Not necessarily wanting to harm me, but watching me. I even have this person's image. He is a man...but I have no idea who he is...still it's always the same face. I don't know if this is a thing that has its roots somewhere in my childhood, but the fear of being followed and watched still haunts me. I sometimes see this person behind me in the mirror when I am washing my face...but this happens rarely...but I can always feel him hiding behind the shower curtain.

Phobia no. 3

Ok...this is the phobia everybody knows about…my cleaning phobia. It's actually an obsession...the phobia stays in the lack of organization of things. I mean if all glasses are lined up and one is a little bit more to the left than the others, what's wrong in moving it one cm so that it gets lined up with the others!? The problem is that I don't do this only with my stuff, but recelty I realised I do it everywhere I go, even in bars and social places...darn. This is a thing that completely freaks me out. I tried ignoring it when it occurs, but I can't. I have to put things right, I cannot focus on anything else till I do it...and if I don't do it and I am no longer able to do it, I would think about it for a long time. Freaky I know..

The simple things I want to do

- play Sims with Bianca

- take out Lolita

- go to my great grandmother’s grave and light a candle, probably (for sure) cry

- sleep with Ana and Irina in Ana's bed :) - it has to be all three of us (Ana, I will wash the dishes and cook if you agree to adopt me)

- meet with all the people I know (or almost...I don't know if they all want to)

- have a burger or two with my old friend, Cata (or more than that...as long as it includes talking)

- clean my room (even if it's clean, it has to be Laura style cleaning)

- go by tram, trolleybus, bus(anything but bike)...oh and metro

- wax (thank you Ana for making this possible)

- go through everything I left home to make sure I didn’t forget them (clothes, books, cds, magazines, pictures, bags, hats, shoes etc) – I miss all my stuff so much, I love the lifeless, plastic, artificial, materialistic side of me

- no more speaking English

- wear ironed clothes (as much as I hate this and though I thought I would never say it, I'm tired of looking as if I just came out of the washing machine)

- eat fat food, meat and toxic stuff (anything but vegetables, fruits and cereals)

- drink anything but tea and milk

- as a result from the two above - get fat :)

- do Tae Bo with Ana (to burn the fat)

- meet with Alex (I owe it and I'm doing it because I love you not because you will hate me and haunt me in my dreams telling me what a bitch I am)

- see snow (there is no winter without snow and if I don't see it at home I will probably not see it this year - make snow angels and play like a dog that hasn't been out for days)

- slap Dan (because he deserves it :)

- visit my work mates

- go to Ana's place, stay in the kitchen and chit chat till forever

- go in a supermarket right before Christmas when it's really crowded (I miss the crowd)

- get stuck in traffic

- take a long, hot bath (I'm starting to hate the shower...it lacks feelings)

- eat rum chocolate (:D - I'm still thinking about it) and any kind of chocolate I get my hands/mouth on

- go to Mini Prix with Ana and Irina and try on stuff

- get glasses (I'm blind)

- see thousands of movies

- not learn anything, not read anything about history, law and accounting

- not sleep for one month (totally unrealistic but I can try)

- go to the new place Ana's dancing at and dance with her all night long and leave together really early in the morning

- walk through Bucharest (not by night - I can remember the pleasure of always looking back and being paranoid about people following me - I don't really miss that)

The above list is absolutely random and I will add stuff that go through my mind till I'll be home, print it and do them. I never thought I would be so excited about going home - I have butterflies in my stomach and I get the same feeling I get when I am in love or going to have blood taken for analyses - speechless and scared, feeling like fainting but trying not to show it.

Still green but without leafs

- this is a very popular Danish song I always hear when I turn on the radio -

This week my fourth month of Denmark started. I can’t believe it's my forth month...time passed really fast and I'm starting to think that I should really use it smart. Sleeping and doing useless stuff doesn't help me build memories and feelings. On Monday, 1st of December, we had our national day. This was probably the first time when I didn't enjoy the idea of the celebration, because I never actually feast and I think nobody does. In stead of enjoying a long weekend like the people at home, I woke up at 7 and went to school to study history with my study group. We had 7 hours of history and my head was completely knocked at the end of the day. I couldn't sleep during the night, because on the 2nd I had the exam, my first one here and I was so nervous about how it was going to be. I built theories about the subject I'm going to get and tried to create answers.

Tuesday, the exam day, I woke up extremely tired. I realized that I think well when I am tired and I am able to concentrate better, because I stop caring about what I'm saying and doing. The exam was better that I thought...or at least that's what I'm saying now...I will see how well it was after I get my result. It was a hand written exam, and Hagen created a big fuss. Everybody was intrigued that in 21st century we have to take hand written exams and not use our laptops. I don't know if this is snobbish and arrogant but they all shared the same idea. Ohhh....these Western kids :). It was a 4 hour exam and I kinnda finished in the first hour. I had no idea what else to write and I was ashamed/afraid to hand it in so fast, because of being weird. So I reread it 4 times, searched in the dictionary for different words to check my spelling...till a girl got up and handed in her essay. I felt relieved for not being the only one and quickly got up and gave it to Hagen. It was good that I finished so fast, because the next day I had a presentation in law and was suppose to prepare my Power Point part of the presentation...and didn't :D. So I had time to do it through lunch in the State library.

We had to create a product and build a company with plans to expand somewhere in the world, talk about the type of clauses we will include in our contracts, type of clients we are going to have, transportation regulations and intellectual property issues(patent, trade mark stuff...etc). We made a Danish company - Greeny toys - selling organic wooden toys under the name of Greeny. We did it in a hurry and we were sure it was going to be crap comparing to the others. But we had a surprise on Wednesday after the presentation...

Anyway...after my exam on Tuesday and finishing our law presentation I went home. The girls were going out to Student House and of course I joined. I couldn't miss that, especially since it was the last International Student's party this semester. I'm glad I went because it was one of the best. I also met with the Romanian girls and shared some time together. People...donuts...mulled wine…games...painting and of course fussball. I won 4 crappy Christmas presents in a dice throwing game. I got 6 for 5 times but they stole one of my presents. I guess when you get unlucky in certain fields you become lucky in others...I should probably start gambling in this period...I might win something good.

Wednesday I had to wake up at 7 again...for the law presentation. I was feeling cranky and I was tired. I didn't feel like presenting anything and had a mean attitude. This helped me during the presentation, because I answered all the questions people asked very straight forward without hesitations...and in the end...this brought us the 1st pries. It was a total shock, because we thought we wouldn't get anything...but we won...a box of chocolates :)...sweet victory. This was good for our moral...we all felt good and appreciated. After the victory I went with Mara to the International Secretariat to sign my new contract and ask about the procedure and stuff. We convinced the girl there to reveal the secret information about the girl who will come in my current room, starting January. She is also from Czech Republic, like Marketa and studies Biology...that's all we managed to get…but it's more than enough...I hope she speaks English and I don't have to learn Czech and her and Marketa will not speak Czech all the freaking time :) I had a second presentation on Diaspora’s that day so, after a quick cake and chit chat with Mara in the cantine, I went to my next class. Half sleeping I managed to say what I had to say and head home. Home...but not for long. Uwe, my Diaspora teacher, invited us for dinner and movie at his place. The cold weather was making me stay home, in bed and sleep...but I went. Though he is living here for 3 months just like us you could see the difference between a student's house and a teacher's house...he had all his stuff here and it looked very personnel…like a real house. We ate humus with vegetables, rice in coconut milk with curry, pasta al forno and tiramisu. A bit too much I would say...but it felt good. I think I'm going to cook some of this stuff myself. I am really turning into an international chef. I almost felt asleep during the long Bollywood movie we watched. Not long after midnight we all went home. It didn't matter how tired I was...I couldn't stop enjoying the cold. The road was shining because everything was frozen. I wasn't afraid to go with the bike downhill on ice...I guess I got really use to it and I learned how to control it pretty well. There were no clouds in the sky and the stars were shining bright. I decided to learn some constellations and search for them. I am sure it would be a success...I'm building a new passion. I love to ride my bike by night, looking at the stars and going uphill on the road home through the middle of the street in all directions, listening to music...I'm becoming a selfish sentimental fool.

On Thursday, fate played in my favor. None of my student group people could come for our learning meeting so I got to sleep 1 hour later...till 8..the babies started their normal artistic program after, so I had to wake up. It was Marketa's birthday so we gave her hugs and kisses in the morning and the little gift we got for her - a pair of one fingered green gloves. She planed her party for Friday so today we had the day off. We all wanted to go to Den Gamel By, but Lina had some problems and I only went with Mara and the Latvian girls. Den Gamel By is some sort of old village museum. They have there some houses from the region, tolls, furniture and other stuff they used to use in the old days. This is the place to be if you come in Aarhus. A ticket is pretty expensive (100 kr.) but in the Christmas period it's free for students. Also you can find people dressed like in the old days there, sweets, cigarettes and drinks like they used to be...and also children's games and books. The Danish are really keen on their traditions and the national obsession is everywhere even in the Christmas tree...there is no Christmas tree without at least one Danish flag in it...holidays are not holidays if the tree doesn't have the flag. I don't honestly think it's worth paying 100 kr. for this place - I bet the modern art museum is better at the same price...but anyway it was for free. The most interesting part about this whole Gamel by thing was our way to it. At one of the big crossroads we have to pass on our way to the centre we saw from the distance 2 fireman cars, 1 ambulance, one police car and one G4S car. We thought something really bad happened but when we got there we were surprised to see a car, Skoda, bumped into a traffic light. The front part of the car was damaged but it wasn't that bad. Still, all these cars where there and the traffic was blocked.

Everybody has Christmas decorations around their houses except for us. It would be a bit stupid to buy Christmas stuff when none of us is here for Christmas. I bought some wooden snowflakes from Den Gamel By…and made a candle decoration thing…just for me…I also stole a little Christmas tree branch and put it in the kitchen :)

Friday started pretty well and ended even better. In the morning I had my usual cornflakes with bananas and karnemelk breakfast and than went to my student group meeting. We are trying to figure our next exam on accounting. We are 5 in the group - me, Benjamin, Tone, Luci and Louise. Except for Luci who is from Brazil, the others are Danish. For this exam I am preparing only with Benjamin and Tone. We are meeting every morning till the 15th when we have the exam. We have one week to prepare for two exams...but I'm sure it's going to be ok.

After that we went to Lina's house, where Marketa made her birthday party. It was a total blast. A lot of dancing, jello shots, home made - use it only once Twister, guitar singing and ahm...other stuff. I realised I almost became an expert in rolling cigartes, and when I get a bit dizzy I can actually play the guitar :)). I decided not to tell people where I am from anymore and let the guess. Till now I got 3 France and 2 Spain - not really expecting people to think that I am from France, but anyway. We stayed till really early in the morning and it did not matter that the next day I had to be in school at 9 in the morning.

This night Saint Nicholas came at home and he didn't find me there I guess. I didn't get anything here either so he must have lost me. :( uuufff....

The rest of my weekend was and will be a countinuig accounting exercises pleasure. I love it.

To learn:

- how to make humus

- how to make jello shots and get people really drunk without noticing

- how to make curry

- how to make the super great Danish Christmas rice, milk, almonds and cherry souse thing

...and speaking of food, I bought the most diguisting thing ever - blood salami. That is actually pig blood with fat. I was curios about it and after tasting it I threw it away because it was horrible.

I cannot believe that in less than two weeks I will be home, in Bucharest, with my family and friends. I have mixed feelings about this, but they all include some sort of excitement  I don't know how I should act, what I should say...I am afraid of being strange and saying stupid things that may not be understood the way they are meant to be.

My flat mates

I realized that I never posted anything about the girls I've been living with for the past 3 months of my life. Last week I was thinking about how close we became, and about the fact that I feel more related to them than to my friends at home. This is of course because I never actually lived with my friends for 3 months in the same flat. The relation we built is very special because we have very different characters forced somehow to live together, but still we take care of each other and get worried when one of us comes home later than usual.

Marketa Vosatkova

Marketa is a second year bachelor student in psychology. She is from Czech Republic, city of Brno. She is here on Erasmus for one year and so I will share one year of my life with her by being her flat mate. At the beginning I didn't feel so related to her because she was desperate to build a social life and meet people from all over. I initially thought she doesn't have a boyfriend and she is in desperate search for one. But one month after we got here a guy was singing on her laptop...and it wasn't Youtube, it was her boyfriend :). That's when she first told us about him. I've never seen her crying or being depressed when we got here, but I guess the strong self cooling system psychologists have is very developed for her too. She doesn't smile a lot and she seems a little bit flat in her reactions. I've never had a serious conversation with her till now outside the psychological domain. But I'm not complaining because I love it...and I love the way she talks about gender differences especially when it comes to depression (she had a presentation on this). Still she brought the whole psychological department in my life and turned them into my friends...and for this I thank her because they are all great. She is very bad at organizing things...and when she got lost in Malmo she proved that she's not that good with problem solving and fast reactions either. Still she has a wicked look sometimes and makes me think there's more to her than meets the eye. She likes to clean just like me :D and we share the washing the dishes and laundry part. I hate it when she uses my milk because she's out of...even if she buys a new one the next day. She always takes post cards for me too when she goes in a pub and I do the same with her. We both have postcards on our room walls and we started putting them in the kitchen now too.

Mara Ose

Mara is a last year bachelor student in...I don't really know actually. It's something with culture and cultural relations - the idea is that she's studying Danish (Scandinavian culture). She is from Latvia, Riga. She is also an Erasmus student but just for one semester. So in about two weeks from now she will become another very good friend I have somewhere in the world and hope to see again in this life. I hate it when this happens, because I build very strong relations with people who I'm very likely never to see again in my life, but would like to have close to in special moments. I hope our roads will cross again because I really like her. She is just like me, not so keen on socializing and going out at night. The first thing we shared was peeing on the side of the road in the middle of the night on our way home from the centre  We didn't have bikes back then so we got off the bus in a place we though nobody could see us. She told me then that she's very happy she can trust somebody here and share real life things not just artificial smiles. I liked that and it made me feel good. Through her I got to meet all these Latvian guys and get a sense of their patriotism. I always relate to her when it comes to the history of our countries and the mentality of people. Romania has a lot of social things very similar to the ones Latvians have...still they are somehow viewed better than us. She doesn't like to clean and I hate this so much - she never washed the laundry (me and Marketa wash hers too), she never vacumed in the common areas and we have to tell her when she should buy something for the flat. Still she's very helpful when you ask her for something. She brought us the delicious Latvian candies when she went home during her holiday in October. I met her parents when they came to visit at the beginning of November - and they are nice people. She talks to me a lot about her boyfriend and what she would like to do. She's a lost soul just like me and she would like to discover the world and travel, but not alone. She promised to visit us next semester after she passes her bachelor exam :)...I hope she will...I'm going to miss her and having her in the flat.

Out of the ordinary

Though the week didn't pass, November deserves more posts especially because it has been such a prolific month. Or maybe I'll just make it a long post I'm going to add stuff to until the end of the week so that I will have a complete week registration. On the emotional side I'm in a big hole, and the gap isn't going to be filled so fast I guess. Let's say this is just one of the lessons I have to learn about life and take it as it is. Ana and Irina decided that this year we should have a posh new year’s celebration. This is going to be a switch in our usual way of life as for one night...one important night...we will become the people we don't like and talk bad about. But it's going to be a good experience since you have to be ready for anything in this life. This might also be our last new years together...I'm not making a statement out of this but it looks like the fading borders of our country are carrying us beyond. Who knows where we will be next year and what we will be doing? But there's a first time for everything and the beginning is the most difficult I guess.

Next week I start my exams, so this has been very much a learning week.

Waking up in the morning after long sleepless nights seem to make the process go slow. Still, today it's Friday so I guess everything passed fast. I don't feel smarter but I feel like I'm doing something - culturally. The long struggle with books and infinite texts on law and history became effervescent yesterday. After waking up at 7 in the morning and falling asleep till 8 while eating breakfast in bad...I managed to get to school (not in time). The 15 minutes rule we have here, the "European" excuse for always being late made me lazy. At the beginning I was first in class but now I'm one of the ones who comes later and has to say a shy "Hi!" to the teachers while trying to make as little noise as possible when sitting. So… yesterday after school I went to the first Hindu temple of my life. Uwe made an arrangement and I went with my Diaspora class to visit a diasporic built temple next to Aarhus. The guide was only speaking in Danish so we didn't understand a thing...but it was nice to see how they managed to transform a warehouse in a spiritual house, where they performed rituals and brought gifts to their Gods.

I got home kinnda late and I knew the girls were in one of the dormitories watching Danish cartoon. I was sorry to miss that but fate was in my favour  Just 5 minutes after I got in Marketa came to get more wine. Knowing that they will stay longer and not having school today pushed me to join them. This is how I got drunk last night, came home after midnight and for the first time in a week managed to sleep and wake up rested and ready. I guess the fresh start is on his way.

Oh yeah...this Monday I saw the first real snowflakes this winter...in Aarhus :)

This morning - that is today, Saturday the 29th - the babies that live above woke me up again. Since we moved here every morning we have the same alarm - voices of babies. Above us there's a young family and they have twins. Across the door from them lives the father's brother who himself has 1 baby. The babies are less than 2 years but they are so noisy. The run, they jump, they drop things, they scream, they cry, they play the piano, they sing loudly...everything. I don't know how the parents keep up with that. It's funny though that they only do it around 8 in the morning till 9. It was terrible at the begging and I hated them. I wanted to go up and shout at them and tell them to shut up and stop waking me up every morning. But now I got used. And it's nice to hear baby voices as the first thing when you wake up. Also they always look at me and smile when I see them from my kitchen window. They are like little devils, smiling because they know they are doing something wrong but knowing that they are sweet and there's nothing I can do against them. The parents are so calm...and so many times I witnessed them calmly trying to convince the toddler not to scream and cry. Anyway they are the cutest babies in the world...they make me think about my own...how he/she will look/act/cry/drive me nuts...I think I would like to have a love-child that I can raise on my own and share all my joy and sorrow with. It will probably be difficult to achieve but who knows what will happen in 3 or 4 years from now :)

Anyway to switch the subject from the dreamy stuff...last night we went to theatre  It was the first play I saw in Aarhus. We went to the Russian academy of theatre and the play was in English, specially made for foreigners. The play was called "Dancing in Lughansa" by Brian Friel. It was a combination of family drama (sister drama), music and choreography. We enjoyed it very much, especially because the room the play was in, was really small and intimate and it gave you a nice vibe with the actors. All this cultural stuff I'm doing makes me want more and dream more about the things I would like to do. I'm sometimes thinking if I've chosen the right carrier...maybe I would have felt better as a teacher or an artist of some sort or an actress

.

We initially left home earlier yesterday because we wanted to see the Christmas parade. All the Christmas stuff already started here and the spirit of Christmas is everywhere. Christmas beer, Christmas songs, Christmas outfits, Christmas sprees, Christmas decorations. The difference between here and Bucharest, where we also have all the lights and Christmas decorations, is that here you can feel it some how being pure. People really enjoy themselves and they embrace the spirit and share the joy...even if it's not December yet. Anyway...we didn't get to see the parade because we were too late/early/in the wrong place, but we took a walk through the multitude of people and lights...eating caramelized almonds :D.

Saturday we went to the bazar they sent up in Studenternhus. It was the first time when I went shopping for clothes with the girls and we make a good team...We tried on thousands of dresses, sweaters, jackets, shoes and t-shirts. The bathroom was full with us…exchanging clothes and looking in the mirror. I think I got closer to them than I actually am with my friends. We get naked one in front of the other and talk about all the stupid, girly things that go through our brains. Anyway...in the end I bought 2 nice, short dresses (black and grey), 2 Jackie Kennedy jackets that go with the dresses (green and grey), a nice scarf and 2 very vintage hairpins (one that goes with the scarf and a black leather one).

We finished one of our last weekends together with a fire on the beach and moulded wine. It's illegal to make a fire on the beach here and you can only do it if you have permission from the Police - which of course we didn't. This Sunday was the first Advent - this means that there are 3 more Sundays to Christmas and the first Christmas candle was lighted. From this day forward Christmas is officially coming and candles and lights will fill the city. The fire on the beach was really nice. It was my first time on a beach in almost December...it was my first fire on a beach and the feeling we got when we walked on the mole in the sea was unique. The dark was all around us and the sound and smell of water made us scream and dream to go forward. It was just like the bath I took with Ana at home at night in Vama Veche.

We left the fire because it got windy and our wood was almost over. Other people preferred to stay longer, but we decided to go to a coffee shop down town  The road down town from the beach is the nicest and most romantic place I've been in. I'd like everyone to see it because it's really special but I guess that's hard to share. There's just a bike lane and on one side you have the cold Nordic Sea and on the other you have a deep dark forest. In front you can see the lights of the city and imagine the life that is calling you. We got to the city pretty fast because the Aarhus is small. We went to this really nice coffee shop where we ended the day with some warm tea and hot chocolate. Now I feel ready for my next week. This month passed to fast and there are only three more weeks to go. We will try to make the best of them because they will pass even faster.

Sunny day in November

I was too depressed this morning and I didn't really feel like sharing my thoughts...or at least it's not easy too, so I decided to ask Mara to go in the centre and take some photos since it was sunny. The whether was just like me so I kinnda felt good something was sharing my state, sunny on the outside but so cold on the inside. We ended up meeting with Lina and Kamila and drinking hot chocolate in a beautiful cafe. We also added some postcards to our collection. We have at least one material thing in common which I will always remember.

Anonymous lives

I’ve decided to post about something that doesn't belong to me anymore. I’m tired, sad and pissed, but I guess I can’t do anything at the moment to change any of these. I let somebody hid their weakness behind my decisions again. I guess the thing that I said about hating people judging you by age applies. So fucking what if I’m only 22?! Am I not qualified to be honest with my feelings?! Till some days ago I had thoughts about my life and the way it should be. I guess when it takes so long for you to decide others do it for you. I don’t feel like returning anymore…Failure after failure after failure…I don’t know if things are going to change but at least I can say I tried. I should just start acting my age and dream a lot more than I do. I should just go from one to another and not imagine wedding dresses and nice family holidays around the chimney. I should know better because of what I am studying that the world is changing and start acting accordingly. We are all lost and the fish-bowl doesn't have just two lost souls in it anymore but more or only one…there is no such thing as two. I hate you for not giving me a chance. I hate you for lying to me. I hate you for trying to protect me from something I could not have been protected from. I hate you for making me dream. But I guess I love you for waking me up at the end…wet and with tears in my eyes, like from a bad dream when you sleep with your fists strongly clutched and wake up with nail marks in the palm of your hand. Ana’s phobias are everyone’s, not just hers, and admitting them would be a big step forward…a step from drowning in thoughts and worries. “I thought I could do it for one month…”

1 month to go

This week was defined by people interaction. On Monday, Kamila invited all of us for dinner. Though I didn't want to stay long because the next day I had a presentation in history, we ended up coming home at 1 in the morning. But we didn't notice how time passed, because we were so many and we talked and drank so much. The house she lives in is extremely nice. It's a house in the centre of Aarhus with high sealing and wide rooms. She lives with a teacher from the University who is obsessed with birds, so his whole house was full of bird pictures, bird books and other things related to birds. We listened to some nice records and enjoyed the time we had together. I found out that one of the Spanish girls, Nuria, is going to be with some friends in Bucharest on the 16th of January so I hope we will see each other there and I'll get to be a guide for the first time in my own city. I always wondered what I could show visitors in Bucharest, because I guess I never visited it myself, I just lived in it.

Tuesday was the presentation day and though the day before I was extremely nervous about it I was tired I relaxed and was able to focus a bit better. I can't remember what else we did on Tuesday actually.

Because on Friday we had our Christmas party, Wednesday I had to cook some traditional Romanian Christmas food - sarmale. I've never done this before so it was like another exam I had to pass. To my surprise they turned out extremely well and the girls enjoyed it and didn't die or had indigestion from them.

Thursday was a really long school day. We got to watch our last Diaspora movie. This was a sign that the semester is really getting to an end. Friday we also had our last official class in Diaspora, but we decided to meet once more for dinner together at Uwe's place. And on Friday I saw the first signs of snow...not snowflakes but hail.

Friday was also the Christmas Party day. This was my first Christmas party this year and also my first party with my class mates. It was very fun. We ate together, drank Snaps and danced. I got home at 4 o'clock in the morning. I got really nostalgic and very sad on my way back. I realized that I might not be able to live at home...and this is not because of the people I met here, because they will go...neither because of the schedule I have, because I'm not going to be a student forever...but because of the feeling of being safe and being able to actually dream and follow dreams. I know this doesn't sound very realistic and it's not a good reason to reject the idea of being a "Romanian" again...but I guess I can never escape the wish to run away and reject my roots and find a better way of life (which I believe I can find somewhere in this world and that place is not be Romania). I'm sorry.

I decided to make a list of things I hate (I will not number them because I don't know which one is more important), so...I hate:

- the lines socks make on your ankle

- people eating in bed

- people not washing their dishes

- people talking only about themselves

- the cold

- my short nails

- not being taken serious because of your age and nationality

- people you cannot get rid off because at some point you are nice to them

- being away and not feeling the distance anymore

- not having a camera

Cultural drinking scheme

This week the Aarhus Film Festival was at the Paradise cinema - Aarhus FilmFestival - Insight Outsight 13-16 nov. It was low budget, almost free entrance as we only paid 7 kr and went to 7 different short movies collections or documentaries. Some were boring, some were scary, some were intriguing and some gave me headaches...but it was a nice way to spend the week.

Some of the movies we saw can actualy be found on Youtube...but I guess you have to know what to search for.

Vision - The Apology Line - UK 2007

Vision - My mother learns cinema - Turkey 2007

Sight - Procrastination - UK 2007

Sight - Madame Tutli Putli - Canada 2008

Go West - Office Noise - 2008

Change - Recipes for Disaster - Finland 2008

Speech - Citizen Havel - Czech Republic 2008

Activism - The Dictator Hunter - Holland 2007

Other than that we went to the swimming poll on Monday and some fussball in the Pshychology Department on Friday, after which...

...we had a party at Lina's house...I'm some how sorry that some of the people I live with now are going to leave next semester because I sort of started to befriend them and we get along pretty well and we started doing stuff together. Everybody is extremely friendly and you can actually learn a lot of stuff just by talking...maybe it was just the alcohol...or I don't know.

On Sunday we were a bit tired though we still went to the Film festival. In the morning, we went to buy some food from Bazar West and try to figure out what should I make as traditional Romanian food for this Friday's Christmas Party...which I guess I'm looking forward to. The diversity of foods and colours always cheer me up when I'm going there.

This week I also read a great book - The Boy in Striped Pyjamas. It's the kind of book you cannot put down once you start it. It's sad and depressing  but it's written in a simple  playful manner. I heard that there's a movie on it too...I would like to see it..I think I would cry at the movie, because picturing the images it describes is a lot different than when somebody actually puts them on screen.

At home Bianca found a dog. She took it in the house and we wanted to keep her because she was very sweet. Unfortunately she was too playful and full of life and when nobody was home and she got bored she started distorting some things around the house. So this week we had the quest of finding an owner which in the end we did.

Another week in Aarhus

This was maybe one of my busiest weeks in Aarhus since I arrived. I didn't have an unusual rhythm...I actually didn't have an unusual rhythm....I had the rhythm from home - leave in the morning return in the evening. I haven't done this since I left and it felt really good to change the speed of the passage of days.

On Monday, I didn't have classes so I had to replace school with something, since here you have to do something if you don't want to get buried in depression - not because you might be thinking about home all the time because this is a bit past tense, but because it's dark all day long and if the nature isn't happy than like all human beings getting influenced by the environment they live in - you are not happy. So we decided to go to the swimming pool. We discovered a swimming pool in the Pedagogies School. Kamila learns there and she told us about it. We aren't basically allowed there because we aren't students there but we went anyway. Like all other things - it was extremely clean. The pool isn't very big but big enough to get some exercise in it. I felt good going back in water, especially since I was thinking about summer the past days.

On Tuesday I had classes with Hagen. I also had to present my essay after class, so I had to stay a bit later in school. This was my last essay for his class, I still have a presentation and my class essay. I remember that a few weeks ago I used to think of this month as being so far and exams felt like they were never to come...but now I get a bit scared as it getting closer to an end. In the evening we went to StudeternHus...I don't know why we did it actually because nothing special was going on. I guess we just needed to get out of the house I do something...though every time we go there we don't do anything but drink a glass of bier and play fuss ball. We also drank tequila but it wasn't so great so...

Wednesday was usually a no school day, but because we didn't have law in Monday, Mathew asked us to come on Wednesday at 9 in the morning. This was a difficult task as it was the first time in a lot of months I left home for school so early. The dark and cold outside pushed me towards my bed for a few more hours of sleep, but I had to go. I didn't stay till the end of the class because I decided to join the girls to the swimming poll again. Today it was better because we were alone in the pool and we had enough space to do anything we wanted. We ate at the canteen they have there...which is really good...a bit better than ours and a bit cheaper.

Thursday was an all day school day. I started at 8 in the morning and finished at 8 in the evening. I had three classes (law, accounting and Diaspora’s). The first two were a bit difficult because I had to absorb the information and try to store it so I can make my life easier during the exam period. In Diaspora’s it was the movie session part of the movie. Again we saw something about Hindu Diaspora in US. The movie's name is Namesake and it was probably the best from what we've seen before because it was made in a very American way. The movie is about shifts and changes we all go through not just a diasporas person and how they are reflected in our name and nicknames. There is also a novel with this story as I understood from Uwe...so it might be interesting to read it. I think that after I finish school, before going home I will take some books from our 17th floors State library. We also wanted to go to sauna today...as this is our health schedule....but it's broken....maybe next week.

Friday came and so the weekend began. I had classes in the morning, but this is my favorite day in school so I'm not going to complain about anything. I also decided on my essay for this class and it's going to bit related to something at home - this is in some way also the begging of my path towards tolerance and understanding. Still the morning didn't start so well because I fell with my bike on the way. This time it was a bit worse than last time because I was in the middle of the street and while I was falling I was only thinking about the cars that might have come. But I was lucky. Not only my knee was harmed but my boots got scratched and the basket on my bike bended and I had to take it off when I got home. After school I went to the Psychology Department to eat cake with the girls. We also played some fuss ball because we didn't want to go home so early. Vento came to visit today...he didn't want me to pick him from the train station so I waited at home. We tried finding a bike for him, an abandoned bike, but we didn't succeed. I was a bit worried because I got lost when I walked form the train station the last time but he managed and surprisingly he was very fast. After we ate some Romanian cheese and goods he brought me, we went to StudenternHus. There was supposed to be a concert there. It was also J day...so we had to go out. J day is some sort of national holiday when they release the Christmas Brew Tuborg bier. At 20:59 the whole city was jingling and cars with Santa clause girls and bier started going through the city. The concert sucked so we decided to go home. We had to walk but it was nice because we go to go through the city, J day had everybody out of the houses and the streets were so crowded and nobody caret about the cold and the late hour in the night. It was beautiful and it was just like I live it....lots of people. Mara came home with us so we didn't go to bed when we got home. We stayed in the kitchen and we had till early morning philosophical talks about robots, knowledge, human kind, planets, nature and the flash. The flash was defined as the thing that makes is different, the thing - maybe idea would be a better word - that comes from nowhere and helps us evolve. The question is: where does the flash come from!? :))

Saturday was a hang over day...though I didn't really drink. I went with Vento through the city to show him around. In secret this was also a way for me to get lost in the city as I've never done this by foot. I discovered some really nice places and I hope I'll get a camera and go again to take some pictures. I like it here more and more and I'm going to miss all these images I try to cast in my mind. But there's a difference between having them there and not being able to share them the proper way. It's boring to try to describe them and I could never do it the proper way, because an image cannot be put in words, at least I can't do that. Today it was also my mother's birthday and I got to talk a bit with them on the internet, They were celebrating as usual. I miss them so much and I know they miss me too. When I go home I want to get bored with them and stay with them as much as possible. In the evening we wanted to go to an Illegal Art thing not far from the place I live. But we were a bit tired and it was to cold and dark to get out of the house again...so we decided not to. Also the girls had other plans, though at least with Marketa I was suppose to have the same plans but as usual she changed her mind. We stayed home and watched some episodes of Mad about you...till I felt asleep.

Sunday, that is today...it's raining. I don't know what we can do...we wanted to go to the beach, but I think that's out of the picture. I guess we will stay home, eat, watch some more of Mad about you and maybe read something. Update: but in the evening the rain stopped so we went to Lina's house. We saw a movie - My Big Fat Greek Wedding - ate popcorn and had a little dinner. So it wasn't a boring day after all but a nice way to end an active week. Tomorrow we're going to the swimming poll again and I guess this is how my time will pass from now on here. After two months, things finally started to settle down.

Sweet November

November is here. The holiday is over. Halloween is gone. School started again. Time seems to pass faster. Mara said she feels that the days pass really slow, maybe this is because she went home and now she only thinks about going back. In December she will finish her Erasmus semester and she will not be coming back again for spring. I will miss her and I really hope somebody nice will come in her place. I will have her room starting January, so I will have to give up my little sanctuary and build another one. But it isn't going to be as difficult as it was with this one, because I already now the house and my things are pretty much in order. Even if I don't have a very social, active life here I like the silence and peace I get every time I look out the window in the morning. We have bicycles, sauna and a really nice running place - a lot of little relaxation spots. I guess this is what I will miss most about Aarhus...the ability to clear my mind everyday by doing pleasant things.

November didn't start as bad as the period of the year announces it. It isn't very cold - or at least it isn't raining anymore. The rain stopped these days and the winter cold stepped in. This morning when I woke up everything was white. It wasn't snow, because from what I heard it doesn't really snow here...it was frost...winter frost. The grass is still green so the feeling of life still exists. If this is how winter will be here it will be even more difficult to leave it behind and turn it into a memory.

I'm happy because this week I didn't really have school. I had a free Wednesday, Thursday and Friday...which means a long weekend. Still I had to make my essay for Hagen (International History)...but it wasn't such a pain. I hope this is how the second half of the semester will be. I'm thinking about going home but this thought always makes me look with fear at the exam period :D. I found out that my last exam will be on my last day before winter holiday. In one way I am glad I will really forget about all these things once I get on the plane but on the other hand I will not have time to enjoy my last winter days in Aarhus.

I personalized my room a bit to give it a warmer feeling. I built a little picture out of postcards. My own masterpiece.

Goodbye and Hello

My first week back in the system after the wonderful Scandinavian adventure. It wasn't one of my best weeks, but I learned some good lessons about life. Going back to school was a bit weird because I didn't miss it so much...it was great last week because I didn't have any worries and now I had to get back on track and start reading and worst of all...thinking. On the emotional side I felt some ups and downs...changes and losses which will maybe contribute in time to my process of getting wiser.

On Wednesday, October 22nd, I found out that my grand grand mother passed away. It was a tragic loss for my soul. I knew this was going to happen while I would be away but I didn't want it to happen. The night she passed away I had a dream of her and when I woke up I felt that I was going to get the sad news sooner or later. I had a dream that I was little...just like in the old days when I used to spend my holidays at the country side. I pictured her in my dream as I remember her back from those days. She was feeling good and she had the same strong figure she had during her whole life. She was 94 and was begging for God to take her away for a few years now. I am glad in a away her suffering stopped, but I am sad because I feel like apart of me died together with her. I resemble to her physically a lot. I have her noes...which till now I hated and wanted to change through plastic surgery :)....through her loss I understood my roots and my faith...my feelings changed completely and I feel that this is what still bounds me to her. The saddest is that in the past years, when she was no longer as connected with the real world as she used to be, she always recognised me and was happy when I went to visit. She called me .. “my little girl”...hugged me and kissed me. Maybe the dream I had just the night she passed away was her goodbye to me. I wasn't shocked to find out about her death but I was extremely sad...Though I don't believe in God and Heaven and Hell, I believe in that everybody has a soul which travels around us and goes into the people surrounding us in some amount at some moment in life. I hope that her soul found its right place and that she will keep guarding me as I will always have her in my memory as a never lasting figure of a strong woman.

The same day I found out that my friend, Ileana, has given birth on the 18th of October to a beautiful baby boy. This compensated my sad feelings and made me melt into a confusing rollercoster of emotional joy and sadness.

That evening we went to sauna, our new twice a week habit, and relaxed and had my thoughts and feelings straighted up. I guess there is no need for being sad when you realize that the natural cycle of life goes around just in front your eyes.I should be happy I met such a great person and I had the honor of having her as my grand grand mother. Not many people get to see their roots in their life, live with them, have memories and share a part of their soul not just out of respect but out of real parental love.

The next day I couldn't go to school, it was the day of her funeral. Not being there is difficult for me but I managed to relief my stress by doing what I always do in these tight circumstances...clean. I cleaned my room to the extreme..I washed my windows, vacuumed and cleaned the floor just as I was imagining the burial process, the priest and her coffin going deep into the ground. I can't wait to get home and go there...light a candle and sit in her little cottage...the cottage I used to stay in when I was little and watch from the window during winter people passing on the street and waiting for my grandmother to come home and bring me something sweet. I can't wait to feel the smell of that house again and remember the little kittens which I was allowed to bring in whenever I wanted. I learned something interesting in school today about pictures that are amazing once you understand their ability of getting one particular moment in time and make it unforgeable and representative for you whole life, but also the life of the ones that come after you as a legacy of time. My picture legacy from my grand grand mother is her wedding picture and a picture of me and her from when I was little, just like in my dream.

Today...my worries are away. At the begging I wanted to keep the traditional black clothing and other death rituals we have at home, but than I decided not to because this would probably get me depressed. Today I had a little party with the girls. We made pancakes, drank wine and watched a movie, August Rush. The movie was great, I haven't seen it before, but it's very girlish and emotional. It is like a farytale you would like to have in your life but know that will never happen. I also managed to throw the pancake in air and catch it back with the pan :)...I'm proud of myself because it succeed from my first try. It was a jolly way to end a tragic week. Staying with the girls more and watching their behaviour and reactions I realised that people are the same no matter where you go in this world. Being from the same country and having common roots makes people become closer even if they don't share the same ideas and beliefs. Everybody misses and becomes proud of their place of birth and their country when they are way and try to share and explain the others their feelings. It's something that you can't understand unless you live it or see it in front of your eyes. When you miss home you find it through pictures, smells and feelings which you think you cannot find anywhere else in the world...maybe because you become blinded by your stuborn wish to show the world that you are different and you don't belong in the great, general mixture and natural understanding that we are all humans and we act and react the same no matter where we were born. All these civilisation clashes are difficult to sattle and stop because they go beyond human understading and pride. Tomorrow it's general cleaning day...

7 days 5 cities 3 countries

When: 11th October - 18th October

Where: Denmark (Odense)– Sweden (Malmo, Stockholm, Uppsala) – Norway (Oslo)

Who: me (Romania), Marketa, Kamila, Alice (Czech Republic), Lina (Spain)

How: Train (intrerail ticket) – 160 Euro

Extra costs: 50 Euro

Last week it was potato week, this meant one week of holiday for all the students in Denmark at least. Potato week is a very old tradition – kids used to get holiday from school this week in order to go help their parents harvest the land and pick up potatoes before winter. We took advantage of this great opportunity and decided to take a trip around the Scandinavian countries. We made the decision a few days before leaving so we couldn't find housing before. We just hoped we will find something there...but it turned out everything was full.

We left on Saturday the 11th of October in the morning for Malmo (Sweden) from where we planed to take the train to Oslo during the night. The trip to Malmo was really nice, but when we got there we found out that we just missed the last train in that day to Oslo, so we decided to stay and sleep in Malmo.

We went searching for a place to sleep while sightseeing, but nothing. In the end we decided to find a club or a bar or a place where we could stay during the night because it was getting really cold...but nothing (they all close around 2 at night). We found a hostel but nobody was there and Marketa was really tired and she decided to stay in the hall way of the apartment building where the hostel was and wait for us while we went out searching for another option. The plan was to go back and get her after a while if we found something or not. Of course as I said we didn't find anything but when we went back she wasn't there anymore. All types of scenarios started going through our head and being tired didn't help us think at all. Her phone wasn't working and our backs hurt really bad from the backpacks so we got confused. After some hours of walking around trying to find her she called me for an unknown number. We decided to meet her somewhere so two of the girls went after her while me and Kamile stayed with the backpacks. But they didn't manage to meet. So we went to McDonald's and ate some warm unhealthy food and than went to the train station which was out last hope of sleeping somewhere inside during the night. Fortunately she was there as she knew that this was our initial plan.

Everything turned out ok but than the train station guards told us the train station closes at midnight and we can't stay there and sleep. The confusion was back. We had no idea what to do....until one of the guards suggested us that the airport in Copenhagen is open all night long. It wasn't past midnight so there were still trains going to the airport and our one day ticket trip wasn't canceled. We got our stuff really fast and got on the train back to Copenhagen That's how we managed to be in two countries in the same day – visit one and sleep in the other. Things started getting better and we relaxed. The airport wasn't closed of course and we found a nice place where we put our sleeping bags and went to sleep. There were two columns and on one of them a group of 5 boys were sleeping so we felt good that we aren't the only weird ones. The morning was a bit strange because we woke up in the airport riot and lots of people with suitcases were getting ready for their own trips. The feeling of waking up and seeing people leaving and staring at you in the morning was strange. It was good that here the chances of somebody stealing your stuff are very low so we didn't have to take turns and managed to sleep very well on the Copenhagen airport's floor. All in all the first day was rough but beautiful. We knew that this was going to be awe faith on this trip and we decided to go further and not return home. So we woke up and got on the train back to Malmo and than to Stockholm. We wanted to change our route and go to Amsterdam, Brussels and Paris but we decided not two and follow the first plan..or at least what was left of it...the cities. Malmo is a really nice city - not very big but big enough to get lost in it :)

The next day the unexpected became the expected and nothing could scare us now. The train from Malmo to Stockholm was really long. But we got to see a beautiful sun rise on the Swedish fields. The sun was extremely big that morning and coloured the clouds in all sort of colours  The clouds were high and low attitude and this made us feel like floating with the train between them. I got to see to muses on the window train. It was funny because at the begging I thought they were cows...really big horse like cows and just as they entered the forest I realized they were muses. Stockholm was waiting for us.

We got there in the afternoon and after eating some more toast bread with apples and carrots in the train station (which became like home) we went out to visit the beautiful Venice of the North. The name suits the city perfectly as it is full of rivers and lakes....divided into little islands and filled with bridges that take you further into the heart of the Scandinavian culture. It was really amazing. The old buildings are monuments and statements of history and culture. We couldn't stop staring and we were like little children discovering how new toys work.

We knew that we will not find a place to sleep so in the night we headed towards the Stockholm airport. Everything was dark now and the wonder of the city turned into a cold creepy place to stay. The train took us to the airport in 20 minutes but when we got there confusing and fear started kicking back. The airport is huge and at that hour it was almost empty. We couldn't find the resting area so we wondered around it. In the end after going through some neon coloured corridor, where they had tropical forests sounds for relaxation we got to the resting area. We weren't alone this time as lots of people were crawled on the airport benches trying to get some sleep. The airport is just as beautiful as the city. There was a high glass window through which you could see outside directly to the landing lane. There were so many planes outside that night waiting for their passengers. We couldn't find a place to sleep together so we had to split and sleep on different benches I don't know if it was because I was extremely tired but I had a great night sleep there. Morning came really fast and the first thing I saw when I opened my eyes was a plane taking of from the lane. It was absolutely beautiful. We got our things together and met in the airport bathroom where we washed our faces and cleaned our teeth ready for another day of adventure.

The next target was Uppsala, but we decided to take a train the the evening and so we visited a bit of Stockholm again. It was Monday and all museums and closed on Monday So we went to the Royal Palace to see the guard shift and that had a walk to Vasa.

Vasa is a ship for the 17th century which sank just moments after it left the port. 333 years later they managed to take it up from the bottom of the North Sea. The surprise was that the ship was intact...in perfect condition and now they turned it into a state of art.

Even if we slept better that night we were still tired and decided to leave Stockholm for Uppsala where a warm bed and shower were waiting for us. We got there in the evening by train. A friend of Marketa's was leaving there (Erasmus student also) and she found a place for us to stay. The feeling was great. We went out to get a glimpse of the city and take some photos because the next day we had to leave for Oslo.

We ended the night in a great way with spaghetti (I burned my hand a bit while making them but the feeling of eating something else than toast apples and carrots was great).

We slept really well in a warm room and watched a bit of TV.

The next morning we woke up early and went to see the rest of the city before getting on the train to Göteborg and Oslo.

We got to Oslo in the afternoon after 7 hours of going by train. We thought that we would be relaxed after the train but we were just as tiered as waking with our backpacks.

Oslo was very different from Stockholm and the other cities in Sweden. It was something new, glass and steal buildings. There was a lack of the Scandinavian feeling which we got in Sweden The city was very big and a bit more complicated. It wasn't so great for sightseeing. Except the Vigelandsparken (sculpture park). The sculptures looked great. It was raining and dark when we got there so there was some sort of a special feeling.

Though we really wanted to find a place to sleep here we ended up in the airport again. Oslo airport was the next stop for that night...the last airport we were to see and sleep in before going home. Just like the city the airport was huge and new. It wasn't as good as the others because it was extremely crowded and it didn't have a sleeping area. Worse they were rebuilding a part of it and they were working during the night so we didn't sleep so well...at all. But the thought of going home the nest day was great and helped us get through the night. The next morning we went to the Royal Palace and to the Sculpture Park again.

The city is very expensive and filled with modern, luxury shops. On the other hand you could see homeless people and garbage on the street, a thing not common in the other places. I didn't really like it but this is maybe because Stockholm was so great.

We took the train back to Denmark the next day. I decided not to go directly home (Aarhus) but to visit Odense too. Especially since Vento was there and I knew I have a place to sleep inside at least. When I got to Copenhagen to switch trains for Odense I had a weird feeling of being home. I was so happy and really relaxed as if I knew that now everything is ok because I know what to expect and what I will get. The girls went to Aarhus as they were really tired and wanted to get to a warm bed and shower. The weather changed just when I arrived there and it was raining most of the time. That's why we mostly stayed in the room and the dorm...watching movies and doing nothing..a thing I was lusting for...doing nothing. It was really nice as I got to speak Romanian to somebody face to face for the first time in one month and a half. I also met other Romanians...it was fun and relaxing. I could stay more but decided to return home...I didn't know what day we are in as time passed to fast forward for me these days.

On Friday night I got back to Aarhus. I was so tiered that i got lost in my own city. i went 2 hours around the center and couldn't figure the way out of the mase. With help from people on the street I managed to find the way to the University and than went donwhill to the bus station. I got home pretty late and Marketa was sleeping. Mara wasn't home yet as she was to return from Latvia the next morning. The first thing I did was eat and take a shower. I went to bed and woke up late as my body was in stand by.:)

The trip was more than great and a true adventure for all of us. We survived and this gives you a great feeling. I hope we will find jobs and do it again in November...a weekend in Amsterdam is our next goal.

Una mesa - Little Lulu made it

A trecut o luna de cand sunt departe de Bucuresti...de Bucurestiul meu, cu locurile mele si oamneii mei, nu orice Bucuresti. Acum se declara momentul in care plecarea mea nu mai este doar o vacanta, o evadare din cunoscut. De acum intru in rutina...in rutina omului care nu descopera ci stie. Astazi mi-am primit permisul de sedere si in curand o sa am si numarul de inregistrare danez. Astazi o fata m-a oprit pe strada sa ma intrebe cum poate ajunge pe o strada anume si spre surprinderea mea stiam. Mi-am dat seama ca nu mai am nevoie de harta asa cum avea ea pentru ca stiu, cunosc...am invatat cum sa nu ma ratacesc si felul in care este construit orasul, incat sa ajungi tot timpul unde vrei. Nu-mi mai este greu pentru ca am terminat labirintul...soricelul a ajuns la casa lui si pisica nu-l mai poate prinde. Am intrat oficial in sistem...dupa o luna. Vremea nu mai este ciudata...este normala...a inceput chiar sa-mi placa ploaia neanuntata si nu ma mai sperie gandul de a merge cu bicicleta 14 km pe zi pana la scoala si inapoi. Totusi...astenia de toamna nu dispare...acum parca totul e prea bine, prea repede...Dorul si sentimentul de indepartare a devenit o rutina si el...ceva ce trebuie sa fie si de care nu ma pot lipsi chiar daca imi face bine sau nu.

Am incercat sa-mi gasesc job...probabil ca asta este noul quest pentru a ma integra...dar nu te angajeaza nimeni daca nu stii daneza. Fie ca trebuie sa cureti mese intr-un bar, sa dansezi sau sa impachetezi hamburgeri in spate, trebuie sa stii daneza. Cred ca este vorba de o obsesie nationala. De exemplu unul dintre profesori mi-a spus ca in Danemarca nu ai voie sa arborezi alt steag fara acordul primariei. Nu ai voie nici macar sa-ti pui steagul de pirat la geam daca vrei. In plus stegaul danez este peste tot...absolut, astazi pe drumul spre scoala am observat ca erau din metru in metru puse steaguri...probabil e o sarbatoare nationala. Sper totusi sa gasesc ceva...o sa incerc vineri la un spital...mi-a spus Benjamin ca acolo erau si studenti straini cand a lucrat el deci poate e ok...

Concluzia zilei a fost ca ne e dor de mare...ne e dor de nepasare...ne e dor de leneveala...