I’ve decided to post about something that doesn't belong to me anymore. I’m tired, sad and pissed, but I guess I can’t do anything at the moment to change any of these. I let somebody hid their weakness behind my decisions again. I guess the thing that I said about hating people judging you by age applies. So fucking what if I’m only 22?! Am I not qualified to be honest with my feelings?! Till some days ago I had thoughts about my life and the way it should be. I guess when it takes so long for you to decide others do it for you. I don’t feel like returning anymore…Failure after failure after failure…I don’t know if things are going to change but at least I can say I tried. I should just start acting my age and dream a lot more than I do. I should just go from one to another and not imagine wedding dresses and nice family holidays around the chimney. I should know better because of what I am studying that the world is changing and start acting accordingly. We are all lost and the fish-bowl doesn't have just two lost souls in it anymore but more or only one…there is no such thing as two. I hate you for not giving me a chance. I hate you for lying to me. I hate you for trying to protect me from something I could not have been protected from. I hate you for making me dream. But I guess I love you for waking me up at the end…wet and with tears in my eyes, like from a bad dream when you sleep with your fists strongly clutched and wake up with nail marks in the palm of your hand. Ana’s phobias are everyone’s, not just hers, and admitting them would be a big step forward…a step from drowning in thoughts and worries. “I thought I could do it for one month…”