Another week in Aarhus

This was maybe one of my busiest weeks in Aarhus since I arrived. I didn't have an unusual rhythm...I actually didn't have an unusual rhythm....I had the rhythm from home - leave in the morning return in the evening. I haven't done this since I left and it felt really good to change the speed of the passage of days.

On Monday, I didn't have classes so I had to replace school with something, since here you have to do something if you don't want to get buried in depression - not because you might be thinking about home all the time because this is a bit past tense, but because it's dark all day long and if the nature isn't happy than like all human beings getting influenced by the environment they live in - you are not happy. So we decided to go to the swimming pool. We discovered a swimming pool in the Pedagogies School. Kamila learns there and she told us about it. We aren't basically allowed there because we aren't students there but we went anyway. Like all other things - it was extremely clean. The pool isn't very big but big enough to get some exercise in it. I felt good going back in water, especially since I was thinking about summer the past days.

On Tuesday I had classes with Hagen. I also had to present my essay after class, so I had to stay a bit later in school. This was my last essay for his class, I still have a presentation and my class essay. I remember that a few weeks ago I used to think of this month as being so far and exams felt like they were never to come...but now I get a bit scared as it getting closer to an end. In the evening we went to StudeternHus...I don't know why we did it actually because nothing special was going on. I guess we just needed to get out of the house I do something...though every time we go there we don't do anything but drink a glass of bier and play fuss ball. We also drank tequila but it wasn't so great so...

Wednesday was usually a no school day, but because we didn't have law in Monday, Mathew asked us to come on Wednesday at 9 in the morning. This was a difficult task as it was the first time in a lot of months I left home for school so early. The dark and cold outside pushed me towards my bed for a few more hours of sleep, but I had to go. I didn't stay till the end of the class because I decided to join the girls to the swimming poll again. Today it was better because we were alone in the pool and we had enough space to do anything we wanted. We ate at the canteen they have there...which is really good...a bit better than ours and a bit cheaper.

Thursday was an all day school day. I started at 8 in the morning and finished at 8 in the evening. I had three classes (law, accounting and Diaspora’s). The first two were a bit difficult because I had to absorb the information and try to store it so I can make my life easier during the exam period. In Diaspora’s it was the movie session part of the movie. Again we saw something about Hindu Diaspora in US. The movie's name is Namesake and it was probably the best from what we've seen before because it was made in a very American way. The movie is about shifts and changes we all go through not just a diasporas person and how they are reflected in our name and nicknames. There is also a novel with this story as I understood from Uwe...so it might be interesting to read it. I think that after I finish school, before going home I will take some books from our 17th floors State library. We also wanted to go to sauna today...as this is our health schedule....but it's broken....maybe next week.

Friday came and so the weekend began. I had classes in the morning, but this is my favorite day in school so I'm not going to complain about anything. I also decided on my essay for this class and it's going to bit related to something at home - this is in some way also the begging of my path towards tolerance and understanding. Still the morning didn't start so well because I fell with my bike on the way. This time it was a bit worse than last time because I was in the middle of the street and while I was falling I was only thinking about the cars that might have come. But I was lucky. Not only my knee was harmed but my boots got scratched and the basket on my bike bended and I had to take it off when I got home. After school I went to the Psychology Department to eat cake with the girls. We also played some fuss ball because we didn't want to go home so early. Vento came to visit today...he didn't want me to pick him from the train station so I waited at home. We tried finding a bike for him, an abandoned bike, but we didn't succeed. I was a bit worried because I got lost when I walked form the train station the last time but he managed and surprisingly he was very fast. After we ate some Romanian cheese and goods he brought me, we went to StudenternHus. There was supposed to be a concert there. It was also J day...so we had to go out. J day is some sort of national holiday when they release the Christmas Brew Tuborg bier. At 20:59 the whole city was jingling and cars with Santa clause girls and bier started going through the city. The concert sucked so we decided to go home. We had to walk but it was nice because we go to go through the city, J day had everybody out of the houses and the streets were so crowded and nobody caret about the cold and the late hour in the night. It was beautiful and it was just like I live it....lots of people. Mara came home with us so we didn't go to bed when we got home. We stayed in the kitchen and we had till early morning philosophical talks about robots, knowledge, human kind, planets, nature and the flash. The flash was defined as the thing that makes is different, the thing - maybe idea would be a better word - that comes from nowhere and helps us evolve. The question is: where does the flash come from!? :))

Saturday was a hang over day...though I didn't really drink. I went with Vento through the city to show him around. In secret this was also a way for me to get lost in the city as I've never done this by foot. I discovered some really nice places and I hope I'll get a camera and go again to take some pictures. I like it here more and more and I'm going to miss all these images I try to cast in my mind. But there's a difference between having them there and not being able to share them the proper way. It's boring to try to describe them and I could never do it the proper way, because an image cannot be put in words, at least I can't do that. Today it was also my mother's birthday and I got to talk a bit with them on the internet, They were celebrating as usual. I miss them so much and I know they miss me too. When I go home I want to get bored with them and stay with them as much as possible. In the evening we wanted to go to an Illegal Art thing not far from the place I live. But we were a bit tired and it was to cold and dark to get out of the house again...so we decided not to. Also the girls had other plans, though at least with Marketa I was suppose to have the same plans but as usual she changed her mind. We stayed home and watched some episodes of Mad about you...till I felt asleep.

Sunday, that is today...it's raining. I don't know what we can do...we wanted to go to the beach, but I think that's out of the picture. I guess we will stay home, eat, watch some more of Mad about you and maybe read something. Update: but in the evening the rain stopped so we went to Lina's house. We saw a movie - My Big Fat Greek Wedding - ate popcorn and had a little dinner. So it wasn't a boring day after all but a nice way to end an active week. Tomorrow we're going to the swimming poll again and I guess this is how my time will pass from now on here. After two months, things finally started to settle down.

Sweet November

November is here. The holiday is over. Halloween is gone. School started again. Time seems to pass faster. Mara said she feels that the days pass really slow, maybe this is because she went home and now she only thinks about going back. In December she will finish her Erasmus semester and she will not be coming back again for spring. I will miss her and I really hope somebody nice will come in her place. I will have her room starting January, so I will have to give up my little sanctuary and build another one. But it isn't going to be as difficult as it was with this one, because I already now the house and my things are pretty much in order. Even if I don't have a very social, active life here I like the silence and peace I get every time I look out the window in the morning. We have bicycles, sauna and a really nice running place - a lot of little relaxation spots. I guess this is what I will miss most about Aarhus...the ability to clear my mind everyday by doing pleasant things.

November didn't start as bad as the period of the year announces it. It isn't very cold - or at least it isn't raining anymore. The rain stopped these days and the winter cold stepped in. This morning when I woke up everything was white. It wasn't snow, because from what I heard it doesn't really snow here...it was frost...winter frost. The grass is still green so the feeling of life still exists. If this is how winter will be here it will be even more difficult to leave it behind and turn it into a memory.

I'm happy because this week I didn't really have school. I had a free Wednesday, Thursday and Friday...which means a long weekend. Still I had to make my essay for Hagen (International History)...but it wasn't such a pain. I hope this is how the second half of the semester will be. I'm thinking about going home but this thought always makes me look with fear at the exam period :D. I found out that my last exam will be on my last day before winter holiday. In one way I am glad I will really forget about all these things once I get on the plane but on the other hand I will not have time to enjoy my last winter days in Aarhus.

I personalized my room a bit to give it a warmer feeling. I built a little picture out of postcards. My own masterpiece.

Goodbye and Hello

My first week back in the system after the wonderful Scandinavian adventure. It wasn't one of my best weeks, but I learned some good lessons about life. Going back to school was a bit weird because I didn't miss it so much...it was great last week because I didn't have any worries and now I had to get back on track and start reading and worst of all...thinking. On the emotional side I felt some ups and downs...changes and losses which will maybe contribute in time to my process of getting wiser.

On Wednesday, October 22nd, I found out that my grand grand mother passed away. It was a tragic loss for my soul. I knew this was going to happen while I would be away but I didn't want it to happen. The night she passed away I had a dream of her and when I woke up I felt that I was going to get the sad news sooner or later. I had a dream that I was little...just like in the old days when I used to spend my holidays at the country side. I pictured her in my dream as I remember her back from those days. She was feeling good and she had the same strong figure she had during her whole life. She was 94 and was begging for God to take her away for a few years now. I am glad in a away her suffering stopped, but I am sad because I feel like apart of me died together with her. I resemble to her physically a lot. I have her noes...which till now I hated and wanted to change through plastic surgery :)....through her loss I understood my roots and my faith...my feelings changed completely and I feel that this is what still bounds me to her. The saddest is that in the past years, when she was no longer as connected with the real world as she used to be, she always recognised me and was happy when I went to visit. She called me .. “my little girl”...hugged me and kissed me. Maybe the dream I had just the night she passed away was her goodbye to me. I wasn't shocked to find out about her death but I was extremely sad...Though I don't believe in God and Heaven and Hell, I believe in that everybody has a soul which travels around us and goes into the people surrounding us in some amount at some moment in life. I hope that her soul found its right place and that she will keep guarding me as I will always have her in my memory as a never lasting figure of a strong woman.

The same day I found out that my friend, Ileana, has given birth on the 18th of October to a beautiful baby boy. This compensated my sad feelings and made me melt into a confusing rollercoster of emotional joy and sadness.

That evening we went to sauna, our new twice a week habit, and relaxed and had my thoughts and feelings straighted up. I guess there is no need for being sad when you realize that the natural cycle of life goes around just in front your eyes.I should be happy I met such a great person and I had the honor of having her as my grand grand mother. Not many people get to see their roots in their life, live with them, have memories and share a part of their soul not just out of respect but out of real parental love.

The next day I couldn't go to school, it was the day of her funeral. Not being there is difficult for me but I managed to relief my stress by doing what I always do in these tight circumstances...clean. I cleaned my room to the extreme..I washed my windows, vacuumed and cleaned the floor just as I was imagining the burial process, the priest and her coffin going deep into the ground. I can't wait to get home and go there...light a candle and sit in her little cottage...the cottage I used to stay in when I was little and watch from the window during winter people passing on the street and waiting for my grandmother to come home and bring me something sweet. I can't wait to feel the smell of that house again and remember the little kittens which I was allowed to bring in whenever I wanted. I learned something interesting in school today about pictures that are amazing once you understand their ability of getting one particular moment in time and make it unforgeable and representative for you whole life, but also the life of the ones that come after you as a legacy of time. My picture legacy from my grand grand mother is her wedding picture and a picture of me and her from when I was little, just like in my dream.

Today...my worries are away. At the begging I wanted to keep the traditional black clothing and other death rituals we have at home, but than I decided not to because this would probably get me depressed. Today I had a little party with the girls. We made pancakes, drank wine and watched a movie, August Rush. The movie was great, I haven't seen it before, but it's very girlish and emotional. It is like a farytale you would like to have in your life but know that will never happen. I also managed to throw the pancake in air and catch it back with the pan :)...I'm proud of myself because it succeed from my first try. It was a jolly way to end a tragic week. Staying with the girls more and watching their behaviour and reactions I realised that people are the same no matter where you go in this world. Being from the same country and having common roots makes people become closer even if they don't share the same ideas and beliefs. Everybody misses and becomes proud of their place of birth and their country when they are way and try to share and explain the others their feelings. It's something that you can't understand unless you live it or see it in front of your eyes. When you miss home you find it through pictures, smells and feelings which you think you cannot find anywhere else in the world...maybe because you become blinded by your stuborn wish to show the world that you are different and you don't belong in the great, general mixture and natural understanding that we are all humans and we act and react the same no matter where we were born. All these civilisation clashes are difficult to sattle and stop because they go beyond human understading and pride. Tomorrow it's general cleaning day...