20th - Discovering

I'm starting to discover a lot of intersting stuff. I guess life is full of surprises when you stay and listen and you don't try to get involved as much as possible. I was saying that I don't feel like socializing and I still have that mood...but to fool it and start living in Aarhus I've decided to substitute socializing with knowing. This week I tried some things I was to afraid to do before...eat stuff, do stuff...and what to you know I feel more relaxed and experienced already :)

Yesterday a classmate (a Danish classmate) invited me over to his house because he was meeting some other old friends too. I was enthusiastic when he told me....but then, as the moment got closer I was becoming sceptical and scared. I was thinking about inventing a good excuse not to go...This isn't my natural state so I was feeling weird to have this inner fight. I decided to go because I was bored of cooking, eating, reading and surfing on the Internet. People and communication can not be substituted in this way. I decide that this was going to be a gathering knowledge moment more than a social one. I'm saying this because the other people invited were from Guatemala and Chile. They were going to speak Spanish (which is good practice for me). So I went there with the idea of becoming more international...but also seeing how people have fun here?!After a vegetarian dinner (everybody here is vegetarian and loves to exercise) = healthy but not extremely tasty food...I was thinking that it will all turn up in a boring where are you from...how is your country...thing. But we started having this movie like evening - games, laughing, drinking. I had a lot of fun...and I loved the games we played. Foolish childish games that relax you but also make you think while having fun. I always liked this but I never did it with my friends at home...everybody (I think) would find this a stupid idea. I don't know, we prefer smoking and talking about people...I felt very international especially because we were speaking in Spanish, Danish and English.

And I found some movies I really want to see when I get home: Network (1976) and Once (a Czech movie Marketa told me about)...I think I should become more open and learn more stuff about different cultures - this whole international experience is overwhelming and I should let my guard down and become more receptive.

Shadowed shapes and colors

A shadow is an area where direct light from a light source cannot reach due to obstruction by an object. It occupies all of the space behind an opaque object with light in front of it. The cross section of a shadow is a two-dimensional silhouette, or reverse projection of the object blocking the light.

Thinking that we are all nothing but shadows in this life, because we disappear once the light put upon us is out, makes me consider more the final part of the shadow's definition - reverse projection of the object blocking the light. This makes a huge difference between what we are and what we seem to be, about what or body movements show and what our mind is actually thinking. Nowadays I think it's difficult to make the difference between these things because people hide their real feelings and try to show the reverse image of what they think just to obtain something. The shadow definition is more that applicable in some cases. I'm not talking only about love and emotional feelings. We project our shadow in the society because we are either afraid of what we actually are or because we just want to protect and seal our true feelings.

14th - Going around corners

I will not talk about school because there is no need. It's interesting and I recommend everyone the experience of learning something with non-Romanian teachers.

I didn't do anything really exciting because I'm not in a very socializing mood. I avoid parties and I keep everything strictly related to school - study group meetings and book exchanges. I met a lot of people but I don't feel the need to have fun. Though I got closer to my apartment mates. Today we had our first breakfast together because usually we make something and eat it in our rooms :).

Saturday - that is yesterday I had a really interesting experience. My cousin - Crina - got married. Of course I wasn't there to be with her in this important moment and I really regret this. I don't think she will get married again so I missed my only opportunity to see her as a bride and kiss her. But internet does wonders again, what would we be without it. I got to see a part of the action on web cam. I was there with them through the computer and I was able to see her beautiful wedding dress. Thank you internet for allowing me to be there even when I am not. I hope that soon they will invent holograms or teleportation to make things even easier. It was a really interesting experience. I would prefer being there but this would do considering the distance.

Today I went with Marketa and Mara to this Bazar Vest thing. As I was telling you before I live in a Arab neighborhood, so this is their bazar. I passed their ghetto which is looks to me a lot like seaside cheap motels surrounded by a wire fence. I don't understand the need of the fence but there has to be something...it's probably a way to limit and make the difference between immigrants and the rest of the population. Anyway the Bazar was really nice. I found Turkish gum and kebab and baclava and a lot of teas and good bread and fresh vegetables and fruit. While I was looking around a heard a man talking into a really bad Romanian and I was surprised to hear somebody talk Romanian in an Arabic Bazar in Denmark so I turned and I saw this old Arab speaking to his wife (Romanian woman). All that went on in my mind was the surprising mix and I was trying to explain myself that this is what a cultural mix means - a Arab and a Romanian buying things in an Arab Bazar and speaking Romanian somewhere in Aarhus, Denmark. I think I will experience a lot of these things while I will be here - and it's great because this gives me a great understanding of what I am actually learning.

I'm stating to look for an internship somewhere in Romania - I hope it's going to be a 6 months one so that I don't have to return :D...but stay at home and make plans. I miss everybody but this internet thing I'm using gives me a sense of closeness to everything not physicaly but emotionally. I can still have my sex and the city talks with Ana and Irina, I can still argue with Bianca, I can still talk to mami and tati about things and ask for advises.

I hope that one morning i will wake up and slap myself really hard to realize that this isn't bad and I should get out of this antisocial thing I'm in because it's not helping and will definitely not help me build anything.