The 25th...

This number became more than an obsession and part of my destiny. It's more than just a number for me it's the moment when something strange is going to happen in my life...it doesn't matter what. i don't want to start writing about all my 25th experiences and start thinking whether it's something I intentionally do on that date or it just happens.

Yesterday it was the 25th day before I leave for Denmark. The countdown is really starting to get closer and closer to the end. As usual because it had something to do with 25 something had to change in my everyday life. I had little team building I organized with my sweet colleagues.

It was the first time I played tennis with a coach and he had patience to teach us how to play it right.

Just like in sports you never know what you're going to get or whether you’re going to win or not unless you play it... and you make choices without looking onwards and being able to predict the end. I don't usually play that way but it's maybe best to try it. You can risk loosing a fun, interesting moment by thinking what if all the time and refusing the little pleasures life gives you. This is how my 25th day before leaving became my 25th day before loosing something nice. But it was the first time in some years when I was feeling weird when doing things I felt as being natural before.

Life is strange and you never know where it takes you.

Medicine land

Even if I am a pill person I'm not a doctor person...so I kinnda had to go see the doctors before leaving. It's probably a good thing I did because I found out a lot of scary things...which might have gotten worse whilst I was gone. It's pretty expensive to go see a doctor across the border...and I'm not going to have a health insurance that covers everything. I didn't finish my doctor tour because I don't have that much time and I didn't even get the right treatment for what I found out yet. I thought I was a psychopath for taking pills but it seams I was half right. Anyway I'm not going to die and my organs are where they should be and the way they should be. :)One of the doctors told me to stop taking vitamins and calcium and things like that...because sometimes they harm you more than do you good. Maybe this will be a good way to get rid of this little obsession - even though they never killed me. When I was little and took all those things I managed to survive :))...so why shouldn't I survive now...but...ups...I'm talking bout pills - pills...not pills - drugs. That's not for me and will never be.

Happy birthday little Bee!

Friday, the 1st of August was a special day for me. It was my sister's birthday. She turned 11… so she’s a big girl now. She had some friends over and they dressed with my clothes and put on make up like big girls. They listened to music, fought with pillows and ate cake. This was her birthday I attended in many years. I usually wasn't home during this period so it was an even bigger surprise. The next day she told me she feels a little bit weird...like she's bigger and has more responsibilities and she's trying to act like a big girl now. :P

I had a really nice weekend and it isn't over yet. I visited my grandparents for the last time before leaving yesterday. My cousin was there too and she started crying because she'll never see me again :))Also my grand grandmother recognized me and it gave me a great feeling but then I realized that this might have been the last time I saw her alive and it made me really sad. It's confusing to imagine me loving an 90 something year old woman more than anything...but I do and it would break my heart not to be able to attend her funeral.

But sometimes you have to loose something to get something else in return. It's the worse to miss people but it makes you feel human and makes you have hope and will to go further. The internet helped me find one of my best friends i never thought i would ever talk to. My friend from Kiev, Ania, found my blog on Google. This was the best thing that happened to me this week and it proves that every time you go down faith gives you a little push up. I am surrounded by people I really love and even if things are going like I would like to with all of them maybe some day they will.