Cruel punishment

This morning on my way to work I bursted into tears. This has never happened to me, I rarely cry in front of other people, so it must have been special.

All I could think about was why? So many reasons came through my mind - the weather and PMS, of course (though I haven't had that in a long time), appeared to be the best reasons...but then I thought that it could also be:

- the book I'm reading and how other people from other countries become some how famous and have enough money to travel and do what they want - I don't neuter envy...I'm not even able to define that word, but that is my biggest wish ever;

- the fact that I don't get enough affection - I am in denial on that part

- the fact that I started going back to the dog shelter, and though that picture never made me cry, this time I know more stuff about animal cruelty in Romania - and here comes the trigger of my shotgun of tears: a bomj was searching through a garbage bag on the side of the road and an old stray dog was looking at him, shacking with every bone in his body in the rain...the bomj moved towards one of the underground pipe entrances and the dog followed with a broken leg, but waiving his tale, happy that he won't be outside anymore...the bomj couldn't take him underground, so he remained outside in the rain, alone, still shaking...

I'm probably going crazy, but the first thing that came through my mind was "what sins have I committed in my other life to be born here and to experience these things?" It must be a punishment for something...I'm probably acting like a spoiled brat, I know there are worse things, but this doesn't mean that I don't deserve to also experience the nice ones when I go out on the street.

Doing whatever

I'm reading this really nice book about overcoming the self and seeking the freedom and happiness most of us define as life goals. The book is not relevant now, as I'm going to write about it as soon as I finish reading it.

The point is that I am somehow trying to follow the book's motto and see whether it fits. I'm probably going through a personality crises and seeking the answer in other people's experience. Funny for me to say this...but I realized it's best to admit the crises we're going through or we'll all end up like that "godfather of cannibalism" japanese guy.

So, I'm doing what I want. I didn't like the doing "what I want" me from last night...at least not in the morning. I could put the blame on the situation I was in, but even so, man I kinnda feel like a piglet now.

I guess I started with the wrong foot...I am so not the type of person that should go out and be free...I guess I should adapt the book's motto a bit and say "do what you want, but please be rational!"

Cruelty Free Consumer

Here is a list of some surprising animal ingredients to look for on cosmetic labels and some greener alternatives:

Ingredient: Allantoin

Source/Use: Found in cows and other mammals and used as a healing agent in many cosmetic creams and lotions

Alternative: Allantoin is also found in many plants, particularly the extract of comfrey root.

Ingredient: Beeswax 

Source/Use: Wax from virgin bees is used as a sealant in lipsticks, mascaras, eye creams, lip balms and nail whiteners

Alternative: Paraffin, vegetable oils and fats.

Ingredient: Boar bristles 

Source/Use: Hair from boars commonly used in makeup brushes and toothbrushes 

Alternative: Nylon or vegetable fibers.

Ingredient: Biotin 

Source/Use: Found in all living cells and used in cosmetics and shampoos

Alternative: Plant sources.

Ingredient: Stearyl alcohol or sterols 

Source/Use: A mixture of solid alcohols that may sometimes be prepared from sperm whale oil and is used in skin creams, hair rinses and some shampoos

Alternative: Vegetable stearic acid

Ingredient: Fish liver oil 

Source/Use: A source of vitamin A sometimes used in cosmetics and hair dyes

Alternative: Vitamin A derivatives from carotene (carrots) or synthetic sources

Ingredient: Mink oil 

Source/Use: An emollient used for its moisturizing properties in cosmetics and skin creams

Alternative: Vegetable/natural oils such as avocado, almond and jojoba

Ingredient: Silk/silk powder

Source/Use: The tiny fibers made by silk worms to form a cocoon — used as a coloring ingredient ion face powders and soaps

Alternative: Milkweed seed-pod fibers or synthetic silks

Ingredient: RNA (Ribonucleic Acid)

Source/Use: Slaughterhouse waste that is commonly used in many protein-enriched shampoos and conditioners

Alternative: Plant cells

Ingredient: Sponge (luna and sea) 

Source/Use: A sea animal that looks like a plant and is used as an ingredient for sponges and loofahs 

Alternative: synthetic sponges

Ingredient: Stearic acid 

Source/Use: Fat extracted from cows, sheep and pigs and used as a lubricant in deodorant, hair spray, shampoo and soap

Alternative: Vegetable fats or coconut

source: http://www.rominachirre.com/romina_chirre_english/rominas_blog/?cat=5&paged=3