This morning on my way to work I bursted into tears. This has never happened to me, I rarely cry in front of other people, so it must have been special.
All I could think about was why? So many reasons came through my mind - the weather and PMS, of course (though I haven't had that in a long time), appeared to be the best reasons...but then I thought that it could also be:
- the book I'm reading and how other people from other countries become some how famous and have enough money to travel and do what they want - I don't neuter envy...I'm not even able to define that word, but that is my biggest wish ever;
- the fact that I don't get enough affection - I am in denial on that part
- the fact that I started going back to the dog shelter, and though that picture never made me cry, this time I know more stuff about animal cruelty in Romania - and here comes the trigger of my shotgun of tears: a bomj was searching through a garbage bag on the side of the road and an old stray dog was looking at him, shacking with every bone in his body in the rain...the bomj moved towards one of the underground pipe entrances and the dog followed with a broken leg, but waiving his tale, happy that he won't be outside anymore...the bomj couldn't take him underground, so he remained outside in the rain, alone, still shaking...
I'm probably going crazy, but the first thing that came through my mind was "what sins have I committed in my other life to be born here and to experience these things?" It must be a punishment for something...I'm probably acting like a spoiled brat, I know there are worse things, but this doesn't mean that I don't deserve to also experience the nice ones when I go out on the street.