Welcome 2010

I had an odd start in this new year. I started the year with the feeling of needed change, in myself. I decided to change priorities, and switch from the naive school/university girl. I played the role for a while, maybe a bit too long and I'm starting to feel lame. I'm like the guy in those US university movies that never manages to graduate and goes with every generation through the same stupid pranks.

I had a look back at my 2009 resolution list and realized that I am so good at lying, I can actually fool myself. I have no resolution list for this year, except for managing to finish my master program. I have no wishes and no hopes, because having them would make me narrow...I prefer to walk on a wide path this year. There are some things that I know for sure will continue, and those things are related to traveling. I will be out there this year again, switching planes and looking through airport windows. These planes guided in these past 2 years my destiny and showed me that there are no limits to anything. If I can make it, if it happens to me...I believe it exists...destiny, luck, serendipity, whatever you want to name it.

My 2009:

- managed to work for three months by waking up at 5 in the morning and riding my bike, in order to sustain my studies

- managed to get to the thesis part of my master program, not with great grades, but with a beautiful life experience

- lived in Madrid for 3 months, ate the best food, drank the best "cervesa con limon" and most of all, met and lived with the best people in the world

- saw the wonders of Gaudi

- proved to myself that I can very well work for the state system as well, but would rather leave it as a last resort

- got hired by the International Executive Search Federation, in the conditions I asked - and so I have the best job a 23 year old would wish for, working with real professionals

- realized that my parents were right when I was little: there is no such thing as best friends, everybody has their own interest, the only people that will never judge or ask for anything are your parents!!!

- did the craziest thing in my life

I have no regrets, I'm just carefully paving my way to Hell.

Cheers to new perspectives!

Let the slaughter begin

The XXI century, 9.30 AM, one of Bucharest's neighbourhoods drowned in never ending hills of snow. Cars with scared drivers desperately watching through the windscreen, hoping to make through the big crossroad where a well dressed police man stands...doing nothing. I carefully step on the paths made through the snow by morning walkers. At the end of the final cross stray dogs can be heard barking. I can see one of them sacredly watching towards the loud hounds form across the street, and I thinking that the poor dog is an unwanted intruder. But I am so wrong. As a put the final step on what used to be a clearly marketed white cross, I see a confused pig. A large red skinned pig, waving his large years, seeking for the right direction. His formerly pink skin is carved by small cuts, making it look bloody red. His back legs have been tight together, to make sure he has no way to escape. Behind him, two man guiding his direction with a stick...

This officially opened the pig slaughtering season for me. Every year, my grandparents raise two pigs for Christmas. They've been going through this ritual since they were born. While most traditions were lost, this one is still vivid at the country side. This is also something I attend every year, until my grandparents will no longer be able to raise the pigs. Even if pork meat does not represent a necessity anymore, like it used to in the old days, this habit cannot be taken from them. It's cruel, but it's a tradition and an unwritten law of the people. Considering that other cultures still murder or torture people to satisfy traditions, or apply the rule of death to punish the ones that do wrong in their community in the XXI century, the pig slaughtering doesn't sound so cruel. It is though something that will disappear...

Traditions make culture, culture makes us different and unique...

The magic three

I am talking about the three magic letters P M S. These three letters have the ability to completely transform a person's thoughts and body for a couple of days. The letters are a syndrome, a disease without treatment that can only be accepted by society. It manifests in women of course, as if it wan't enough. It's like for Eve's sin we have to pay with tremendous pains, monthly issues that disturb routine and all in all become routine and psychic mood shifts. I was reading that while women react with tears and sadness to depressions, men become aggressive. Imagine what a household would look when SHE and HE have PMS at the same time. While a month ago I spent my last PMS day vomiting on the street because of headache, this month I spent it making thoughts. Selfish thoughts, complemented by a similar behaviour .. I cursed a few people from my past in this period..a thing I might regret once I get good old me back. Someone just as PMS-ish as I am, told me that we even suffer a few physical changes and it's not really in our minds that "...we are the ugliest..." but it actually happens.

Strange, strange creatures...we live through a multitude of shifts...when is it exactly that we are as we are.?!..and say what we really mean to say?!