Feelings:
I'm half way in my winter holiday and basically starting to think about how to pack and what to get with me back. My long to do list, made just a few weeks ago, is almost covered. Some things happened exactly as planed, others even better...nothing worse. This can only mean that I'm on the right track and the confusion my mind fought with is starting to lay back and watch as I make my way on my path. Since I got home I feel that I am alive. I was starting to become a cold traveller without any notion of stability...a thing which does not define me at all. I was overwhelmed, I still am actually, to discover that I didn't care about a lot of very important things and people (even my parents became just someone I knew and gave me money now). I don't know if this is the age for it, but this is the period with the biggest shifts in my life, and it all started with my decisions in 2008, which broke my regular path and left me unable to make decisions in important situations and allowed me to get carried away. I felt like I should have never returned, than I switched to not wanting to leave anymore and so on :)...all in all I feel that I can't afford to miss other things.
First impression:
The narrow windows of the apartment made me feel like in a match box. The claustrophobic feeling passed fast, when I realised that this is just a matter of "getting used to". I was surprised to find a slightly different Bucharest…one where things look better, cleaner and better organized. The social scene is mostly the same, but now I am confident. There is still a great ocean of black and grey winter jackets, lack of colour, sorrow faces and people that don’t deserve to be sad and broken. Though it makes my pulse go higher and higher, I think I am getting better and tempering myself when things that could be avoided happen, because some people are just too rude, stupid and ignorant. Still, I love the crowed I missed so much.
Holidays:
Christmas was confusing for me and it felt like Christmas only thanks to my family and their/our traditions. Pigs slaughtering...Christmas tree buying...food shopping...gift shopping...Christmas fooding with friends...and at the end of the day my own special - clubbing with Ana :)
It sucked because it could have been much better...but I got drunk as planed...was with my best friends at the passage of the years and woke up with my favourite person on the first day of the year. In the end, this made it better than it sounds :)
Out with the old. In with the new
I could write a thousand lines about what I am doing and what is going on, without catching the essence of things, by being superficial and fake...and I have the feeling that this is what I have been doing. I slightly forgot to enjoy, though I’m trying really hard to remember, and this is sad.
Great achievements in 2008;
I don’t know whether to priorities them by importance or timing…I will just put them however I remember them:
- finished University with a good grade, though it wasn't very tough, it was stressful for me;
- got accepted to a master’s program abroad, which for me means that I can and I will;
- grew up enough to have the courage and shift my life professionally and emotionally, it took a lot of guts from a person who likes stability and roads without bumps and humps, ups and downs;
- decided to live by my age and stop acting like I shouldn't be now – maybe I got a little bit too carried away and now I do/say too many stupid stuff;
- finished driving school, but didn't pass the exam … a thing which I don’t regret because I did something more pleasant than learn;
- saw the most beautiful sun set (on Danube) and the most beautiful sun rise (on the plane to Vienna);
- survived in the great Danish social jungle;
- survived through the greatest moment of confusion in my life – now I will know what to do what it kicks in again;
Resolutions for 2009
Again, as they go through my mind:
- increase my Danish knowledge, because even if I will forget it in less than a month after I'll leave Denmark, it will be somewhere in the back of my mind forever;
- get my driver's license, because I have to finish what I started and it makes me feel handicapped;
- try to keep what I have because I have what I need;
- find a good internship, that my assure a future job for me, that may turn into a career at some point;
- work on some of my body parts - getting fit not loosing weight;
- get a job after I hand in my internship project and start raising money for some slight adjustments;
- learn when to shut up and what is actually important and not (stop getting carried away);
- stop being lazy and start focusing;
- give my best in everything;
- start being social again, because it helps me be me.
All in all, this year I have to learn to be wise.